Been a while since the last Blog. I intended to use this blog as a starting chart to document my rise to power in the art world. But its quickly become apparent that this blog is more an artist obituary charting my failures and lows. Its mostly out of obligation and guilt that I write this, I turned 32 at the end of May, maybe its my new sense of maturity or realization of impending doom but i decided that if I can’t exhibit my work in galleries around Bristol then I will exhibit in the next best place… a CAR-BOOT sale! in Bristol!

A car-boot? is the wrong place for artwork I hear you say. Perhaps, but cut out the middle man I thought go straight to the punters I thought and as they sift through other peoples wares and used plastic shit they will discover my stall, a rare gleaming gem with one off limited edition prints signed by the artist for a low, low price! how could anyone refuse.

So there I was Sunday 6am my backpack packed on my back with my trusty limited edition prints ready to go. I carried it to Clifton Car-boot only 10 mins walk away. The morning dew was thick on the ground as I laid out my drawings in a line in front of me. I used tent pegs to keep them from blowing away in the wind and I setup a kind of browser out of a collapsable coat hanger rack with around 20 A3 drawings hung with sticky tape from coat hangers for perusal. All I had to do now was sit back, put my least creepy smile on and wait for the money to roll in. See illustration below:

The people of the car-boot actively avoided my stall, there was a wide birth lets say. Some accidentally strayed into my zone like a lost deer on the road looking for baby shoes, they bolted as soon as they realized that there were no racks of boiled clothes or chewed up plastic toys for sale. The only other bloggable action that happened this day was a little kid that trampled over my prints looked around realized he’d taken a wrong turn and then trampled back over them again. In the 5-6 hours I sat there a few souls did stray into my into my stall, maybe they were lost or bored, these early morning zombies would idly flick through my browser, then within just a few seconds of looking would make a face and depart.
I couldn’t work out whether it was me?, the drawings, location or the naff way I presented them?, maybe all of the above.

I guess car-boots are not the right place for artwork, I had to find out for myself just incase. I’m used to my art being ignored I expect it as part of the job, it did remind me of doing group shows where even in a packed room a massive empty void would usually appear in front of my work (even tho its awesome and far superior to any one else’s in the room of course but) “not my cup of tea” would be the mantra from the art folks at the private view. At least in this car-boot they weren’t expecting quality artwork so its forgivable that they would avoid it.
SO anyway, that was that over by early afternoon. When the organizers came over to collect the fee they took pity on me and only charged me a fiver. Pity has always been the major tool I use as an artist.

As I’m a glutton for punishment and a slow learner I might do another one just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, plus it will be good practice for my next big idea… a Market stall.

Yours Sincerely
The Management